elles_letters (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
elles_letters) wrote2013-01-27 06:08 pm
elles_letters) wrote2013-01-27 06:08 pm
Fic: "Truth's Out" (Part 1/?), (YunJae)
Summary: Yunho confronts Jaejoong after he shares a heavy secret.
Rating: PG-13
Warning:Violence
Disclaimer: The TVXQ members belong to themselves. All other rights belong to S.M. Entertainment, Avex, C-JeS and Time Warner Entertainment.
“Are you going to hit me?” Jaejoong asked, straining to speak past the arm pressing on his throat.
“Would it be wrong of me?” Yunho returned, his own voice raspy from drink and anger.
“I didn’t do it to hurt you.”
“Bullshit!”
Jaejoong swallowed and tried to press himself flatter against the wall he’d been shoved against. He was sure he could push Yunho off him if he tried, but he was too afraid to even touch the other man. Yunho was thrumming with a barely contained rage and Jaejoong worried that one wrong move would send Yunho’s fist crashing into his face.
“I know it hurt you, but that’s not why I did it. I promise. I said what I did because I had to.”
Yunho scoffed. “‘Had to?’”
“Yes.” Jaejoong shifted again before staring into Yunho’s eyes. “I’m tired, Yunho-yah. I’m tired of pretending, tired of hiding.”
Yunho exhaled loudly, as if he was repressing the urge to say something. He turned and shoved Jaejoong to the side before pacing the narrow alleyway. The alcohol he’d consumed earlier was beginning to wear off; he’d need to head back into the bar and down a couple more drinks before he headed home.
“Tired?” he repeated. “You’re tired!? Things are so easy for you; you know nothing about tired.”
Jaejoong took a step back, wary of Yunho turning on him again in his inebriated state. “I didn’t mean for this to bring you down, too. You know how the fans are.”
“You know how the fans are!” Yunho shouted. “You should have known that if you go on national TV and tell the world that you like men that everyone will assume I do too.”
“You do, Yunho-yah,” Jaejoong whispered. A moment later he crumpled to the ground, the air in his lungs escaping so fast he thought he’d choke. It took him a minute to realize that Yunho had punched him in the stomach.
“Shut up,” the younger man bit out. “Shut up, you selfish bastard! This will ruin your career. It will ruin my career.” His voice broke. “All I’ve had to put up with — building DBSK, rebuilding it after you left — it means nothing now, because you couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut.”
Jaejoong sat up slowly, cradling an arm to his stomach. “People already knew, Yunho, or at least they suspected. I’ve had fans straight up ask me if I’ve slept with you. I felt so stupid, like I was taking part in a lie that had already been exposed. When that MC asked me my ideal type, I … I don’t know what happened, but I couldn’t sit there and pretend that my dream is go out and marry some woman.” He stood slowly, leaning heavily on the cold brick of the bar. “I know it was dumb and I know it’ll affect you, but I don’t regret it. This will be worth it in the end.”
Yunho shook his head piteously. “No. You’ll lose fans,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Any fans I lose for being who I am are fans I don’t want.”
“You’ll never get on TV again.”
The older man smiled ruefully. “Like I had any chance of getting back on now?”
Yunho turned away. When he finally met Jaejoong’s gaze, the other man couldn’t help but notice the wetness of his eyes. “If anyone asks me if there was anything between us, I’ll deny it.”
“I know,” Jaejoong said softly. “And I’ll understand why.”
The two men stared at each other a moment before Yunho ducked his head. “We could have …” he began softly before stumbling away.
“Yunho-yah?”
The younger man swallowed. “We could have tried again. If things had remained private, we could have tried again. Now everyone will … ” Yunho took a shuddering breath before turning around and walking away.
“Yunho,” Jaejoong called after him cautiously. The other man paused. “It’s only been a week, but I’ve never felt more free or at ease with myself. As your friend, as your hyung, if you ever decide you want to stop hiding, I’ll be there for you.”
The younger man straightened and squared his shoulders. “I am a man, Jaejoong-ah,” he uttered quietly. Jaejoong had heard the phrase so many times while they were growing up. “I’m also my parents’ only son. I can’t disappoint them just because I’m ‘tired’.” And without another word, Yunho ambled out of the alley and back into the crowded bar.
Rating: PG-13
Warning:Violence
Disclaimer: The TVXQ members belong to themselves. All other rights belong to S.M. Entertainment, Avex, C-JeS and Time Warner Entertainment.
“Are you going to hit me?” Jaejoong asked, straining to speak past the arm pressing on his throat.
“Would it be wrong of me?” Yunho returned, his own voice raspy from drink and anger.
“I didn’t do it to hurt you.”
“Bullshit!”
Jaejoong swallowed and tried to press himself flatter against the wall he’d been shoved against. He was sure he could push Yunho off him if he tried, but he was too afraid to even touch the other man. Yunho was thrumming with a barely contained rage and Jaejoong worried that one wrong move would send Yunho’s fist crashing into his face.
“I know it hurt you, but that’s not why I did it. I promise. I said what I did because I had to.”
Yunho scoffed. “‘Had to?’”
“Yes.” Jaejoong shifted again before staring into Yunho’s eyes. “I’m tired, Yunho-yah. I’m tired of pretending, tired of hiding.”
Yunho exhaled loudly, as if he was repressing the urge to say something. He turned and shoved Jaejoong to the side before pacing the narrow alleyway. The alcohol he’d consumed earlier was beginning to wear off; he’d need to head back into the bar and down a couple more drinks before he headed home.
“Tired?” he repeated. “You’re tired!? Things are so easy for you; you know nothing about tired.”
Jaejoong took a step back, wary of Yunho turning on him again in his inebriated state. “I didn’t mean for this to bring you down, too. You know how the fans are.”
“You know how the fans are!” Yunho shouted. “You should have known that if you go on national TV and tell the world that you like men that everyone will assume I do too.”
“You do, Yunho-yah,” Jaejoong whispered. A moment later he crumpled to the ground, the air in his lungs escaping so fast he thought he’d choke. It took him a minute to realize that Yunho had punched him in the stomach.
“Shut up,” the younger man bit out. “Shut up, you selfish bastard! This will ruin your career. It will ruin my career.” His voice broke. “All I’ve had to put up with — building DBSK, rebuilding it after you left — it means nothing now, because you couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut.”
Jaejoong sat up slowly, cradling an arm to his stomach. “People already knew, Yunho, or at least they suspected. I’ve had fans straight up ask me if I’ve slept with you. I felt so stupid, like I was taking part in a lie that had already been exposed. When that MC asked me my ideal type, I … I don’t know what happened, but I couldn’t sit there and pretend that my dream is go out and marry some woman.” He stood slowly, leaning heavily on the cold brick of the bar. “I know it was dumb and I know it’ll affect you, but I don’t regret it. This will be worth it in the end.”
Yunho shook his head piteously. “No. You’ll lose fans,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Any fans I lose for being who I am are fans I don’t want.”
“You’ll never get on TV again.”
The older man smiled ruefully. “Like I had any chance of getting back on now?”
Yunho turned away. When he finally met Jaejoong’s gaze, the other man couldn’t help but notice the wetness of his eyes. “If anyone asks me if there was anything between us, I’ll deny it.”
“I know,” Jaejoong said softly. “And I’ll understand why.”
The two men stared at each other a moment before Yunho ducked his head. “We could have …” he began softly before stumbling away.
“Yunho-yah?”
The younger man swallowed. “We could have tried again. If things had remained private, we could have tried again. Now everyone will … ” Yunho took a shuddering breath before turning around and walking away.
“Yunho,” Jaejoong called after him cautiously. The other man paused. “It’s only been a week, but I’ve never felt more free or at ease with myself. As your friend, as your hyung, if you ever decide you want to stop hiding, I’ll be there for you.”
The younger man straightened and squared his shoulders. “I am a man, Jaejoong-ah,” he uttered quietly. Jaejoong had heard the phrase so many times while they were growing up. “I’m also my parents’ only son. I can’t disappoint them just because I’m ‘tired’.” And without another word, Yunho ambled out of the alley and back into the crowded bar.