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elles_lettersRating: G
Summary: Yoochun's not that picky. He just doesn't want his tree to be too short, too smelly or look like a penis. Day 3 of Ho!Ho!ShinKi!
Warning: A touch of angst and mention of Yoochun's parents divorce.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, we'd all be getting a reunion concert for Christmas.
"Too short," Yoochun commented as he sucked on a candy cane.
Yunho sighed and went to another tree. "What about this one?
"Not enough needles."
"This one?"
"Not green enough."
"'Not green enough'?"
"It'll clash with all the red ornaments we've got. "
Yunho blew his hair from his face in frustration and went to join Yoochun who was leaning against the tree-lot fence.
"We've been at this for hours, Chunnie-ah."
"The search for the perfect tree is not an easy one, hyung."
"I'm hungry."
"Sacrifice, hyung, sacrifice."
Yunho shook his head wearily. "The others have been waiting for us for three hours. Changmin called and said that Junsu's spent the whole morning stringing popcorn and cranberries together and now he needs the tree for 'measurements.'"
"He's a strange bird, that one," Yoochun said as he bit off a small piece of the candy cane.
Yunho slumped against his bandmate and rested his head on his shoulder. Yunho was no Grinch. He could be merry. He could be jolly. Give him enough sugar and soju and he could be down right uproarious. But right now, he was cold, he was hungry and he was losing the feeling in his fingers.
"Chunnie?" he began.
"Yes, hyung?" Yoochun answered, turning his face to look at Yunho and blowing his peppermint scented breath in Yunho's face.
"What's the deal with the tree?"
Yoochun stiffened slightly. "What do you mean?"
"We've been out here since 8 a.m."
"And?"
"You've said 'no' to literally every tree on this lot."
"And?"
"You rejected most of them for some pretty dumb reasons."
"Such as?"
Yunho lifted his head off Yoochun's shoulder and pointed to a squat fir tree near the tree lot's entrance.
"You didn't like that one because you said the branches were too phallic looking."
"They were. They're too short and the bark's too wrinkly. I didn't feel like watching Junsu and Changmin giggle and make jokes about 'hard ons'."
Yunho pointed to tall full tree not far from the phallic fir. "You said that one smelled like squirrels."
"Actually, I just rejected that tree on Jaejoong's behalf. You know how sensitive his nose is."
"What do squirrels smell like, Chun?"
"Like really hyper, really tiny cats."
Yunho couldn't help but snort in amusement. "And so basically, we can't leave because we have to find a tree that's not too short, not too tall, not too green—but green enough—that doesn't have branches that look like penises and doesn't smell like forest animals."
Yoochun smiled and slurped on his candy cane. "That's not asking too much is it?"
"You're impossible, Chunnie," Yunho sighed.
Yoochun didn't answer, and for a moment they stood in silence watching as families and couples roamed the lot in search of their perfect tree.
"Know what the last holiday my family spent together was?" Yoochun asked suddenly.
"Christmas?" Yunho guessed.
Yoochun shook his head. "Mother's Day. They have two days for parents in America. Yoohwan and I tried to make breakfast. It was crap." The younger boy broke another small chunk of his candy cane and sucked quietly.
"And?" Yunho prompted gently when Yoochun didn't continue his story.
"And…and when she came out and saw us and the burnt breakfast and our stupid hand-written cards, she started crying." Yoochun looked over at Yunho and shrugged sheepishly. "It wasn't because she was happy. Apparently, they had decided to break up that morning. She told us about the divorce two days later when we noticed dad had left for work and hadn't come back."
"I'm sorry," Yunho said softly.
"The last happy holiday we spent together was Christmas. Our parents always used to go all out for it. Dad would take me and Yoohwan out to get a tree and he'd let us get the biggest one that would fit in our house. My mom would actually make our ornaments. Like out of gingerbread and ribbons and stuff. And we had lights and bows and moving ornaments, and one year we even had a train. Our trees were always perfect," Yoochun finished quietly.
Yunho wrapped an arm around Yoochun and gave him a squeeze. Then, he pulled the candy cane out of Yoochun's mouth and stuck it in his. He swirled his tongue around the sweet candy stick and sucked on it loudly.
"Hyung?" Yoochun asked, confused.
"I get it. You had perfect Christmases growing up and you want to relieve them." Yunho pulled the candy cane out of his mouth with a loud smack of his lips and stuck it back in Yoochun's mouth. He pushed himself away from the fence and stretched his long arms over his head. "I'll be your appa if you want, Yoochun."
Yoochun smiled around the candy cane. "I want, hyung."
Yunho smirked before looking back out at the tree lot. "So, you pick a tree. Which one do you like?"
Yoochun looked around the crowded lot and gave his decision some thought. "That one," he stated.
"I thought you said that one smelled like squirrels?"
Yoochun shrugged nonchalantly. "It does. But I guess Jaejoong will just have to deal."
A/N: Okay, so that "morning wood" joke only works in English. The only Korean pun I know involves apples and apologies and I don't really even understand it. =(
Summary: Yoochun's not that picky. He just doesn't want his tree to be too short, too smelly or look like a penis. Day 3 of Ho!Ho!ShinKi!
Warning: A touch of angst and mention of Yoochun's parents divorce.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, we'd all be getting a reunion concert for Christmas.
"Too short," Yoochun commented as he sucked on a candy cane.
Yunho sighed and went to another tree. "What about this one?
"Not enough needles."
"This one?"
"Not green enough."
"'Not green enough'?"
"It'll clash with all the red ornaments we've got. "
Yunho blew his hair from his face in frustration and went to join Yoochun who was leaning against the tree-lot fence.
"We've been at this for hours, Chunnie-ah."
"The search for the perfect tree is not an easy one, hyung."
"I'm hungry."
"Sacrifice, hyung, sacrifice."
Yunho shook his head wearily. "The others have been waiting for us for three hours. Changmin called and said that Junsu's spent the whole morning stringing popcorn and cranberries together and now he needs the tree for 'measurements.'"
"He's a strange bird, that one," Yoochun said as he bit off a small piece of the candy cane.
Yunho slumped against his bandmate and rested his head on his shoulder. Yunho was no Grinch. He could be merry. He could be jolly. Give him enough sugar and soju and he could be down right uproarious. But right now, he was cold, he was hungry and he was losing the feeling in his fingers.
"Chunnie?" he began.
"Yes, hyung?" Yoochun answered, turning his face to look at Yunho and blowing his peppermint scented breath in Yunho's face.
"What's the deal with the tree?"
Yoochun stiffened slightly. "What do you mean?"
"We've been out here since 8 a.m."
"And?"
"You've said 'no' to literally every tree on this lot."
"And?"
"You rejected most of them for some pretty dumb reasons."
"Such as?"
Yunho lifted his head off Yoochun's shoulder and pointed to a squat fir tree near the tree lot's entrance.
"You didn't like that one because you said the branches were too phallic looking."
"They were. They're too short and the bark's too wrinkly. I didn't feel like watching Junsu and Changmin giggle and make jokes about 'hard ons'."
Yunho pointed to tall full tree not far from the phallic fir. "You said that one smelled like squirrels."
"Actually, I just rejected that tree on Jaejoong's behalf. You know how sensitive his nose is."
"What do squirrels smell like, Chun?"
"Like really hyper, really tiny cats."
Yunho couldn't help but snort in amusement. "And so basically, we can't leave because we have to find a tree that's not too short, not too tall, not too green—but green enough—that doesn't have branches that look like penises and doesn't smell like forest animals."
Yoochun smiled and slurped on his candy cane. "That's not asking too much is it?"
"You're impossible, Chunnie," Yunho sighed.
Yoochun didn't answer, and for a moment they stood in silence watching as families and couples roamed the lot in search of their perfect tree.
"Know what the last holiday my family spent together was?" Yoochun asked suddenly.
"Christmas?" Yunho guessed.
Yoochun shook his head. "Mother's Day. They have two days for parents in America. Yoohwan and I tried to make breakfast. It was crap." The younger boy broke another small chunk of his candy cane and sucked quietly.
"And?" Yunho prompted gently when Yoochun didn't continue his story.
"And…and when she came out and saw us and the burnt breakfast and our stupid hand-written cards, she started crying." Yoochun looked over at Yunho and shrugged sheepishly. "It wasn't because she was happy. Apparently, they had decided to break up that morning. She told us about the divorce two days later when we noticed dad had left for work and hadn't come back."
"I'm sorry," Yunho said softly.
"The last happy holiday we spent together was Christmas. Our parents always used to go all out for it. Dad would take me and Yoohwan out to get a tree and he'd let us get the biggest one that would fit in our house. My mom would actually make our ornaments. Like out of gingerbread and ribbons and stuff. And we had lights and bows and moving ornaments, and one year we even had a train. Our trees were always perfect," Yoochun finished quietly.
Yunho wrapped an arm around Yoochun and gave him a squeeze. Then, he pulled the candy cane out of Yoochun's mouth and stuck it in his. He swirled his tongue around the sweet candy stick and sucked on it loudly.
"Hyung?" Yoochun asked, confused.
"I get it. You had perfect Christmases growing up and you want to relieve them." Yunho pulled the candy cane out of his mouth with a loud smack of his lips and stuck it back in Yoochun's mouth. He pushed himself away from the fence and stretched his long arms over his head. "I'll be your appa if you want, Yoochun."
Yoochun smiled around the candy cane. "I want, hyung."
Yunho smirked before looking back out at the tree lot. "So, you pick a tree. Which one do you like?"
Yoochun looked around the crowded lot and gave his decision some thought. "That one," he stated.
"I thought you said that one smelled like squirrels?"
Yoochun shrugged nonchalantly. "It does. But I guess Jaejoong will just have to deal."
A/N: Okay, so that "morning wood" joke only works in English. The only Korean pun I know involves apples and apologies and I don't really even understand it. =(
