elles_letters | Fic: "Don't Hold Back," TVXQ/DBSK/Tohoshinki

Rating: PG
Summary: Third and next-to-last installment of Stripper!Jae and businessman Yunho. Yunho's a lot more observant that Jaejoong gave him credit for.
Warning: Angst.
Disclaimer: Jaejoong and Yunho belong to each other. All other rights belong to S.M. Entertainment, Avex, C-JeS and Time Warner Entertainment.

run away with me (part i) | and let me be (part ii)

Yunho hasn't seen Jaejoong in three weeks. The want and hurt he feels have driven the man nearly mad, and when Jaejoong finally does show up at the strip club, Yunho's in no mood to watch him dance.

"Where have you been?" he asks after dragging Jaejoong into a stall in the men's restroom to confront him. He backs the other man against the closed door.

Jaejoong won't meet his eyes. "I don't have to report to you, Yunho-sshi."

"You've been avoiding me."

The smaller man stares at him coolly. "I have a life outside of this place, you know?"

"Three weeks!" Yunho explodes. "I thought you'd left. I thought I'd never see you again."

Jaejoong shrugs. "You would have gotten over it."

"No. Never."

"I don't know what you think this place is, Yunho-sshi, but you're not entitled to everything you see on display."

"I never thought I was. That's why I asked—"

"You thought you'd play the superhero."

"I just thought—"

"And you thought wrong," Jaejoong says, his tone full of scorn. "You don't know anything about me."

"I know plenty about you."

"Really?" Jaejoong's voice is caustic. "How old am I exactly? What's my favorite color? Where did I grow up? How many siblings do I have?" He moves in closer to Yunho with each question, so that by the last one, his lips are nearly touching the other's.

Yunho looks away. He flushes when he realizes he can't answer.

Jaejoong's emotions waver between triumph and disappointment. "Exactly," he replies bitterly.

"I know plenty about you," Yunho repeats, his voice soft.

"You know nothing."

"I may not know stupid random facts about you, but I know you. Who you are. That's what matters."

"Whatever makes the fantasy more real for you, Yunho-sshi." Jaejoong nearly spits the last syllable.

Someone enters the bathroom suddenly and they both freeze. Footsteps stumble toward an empty stall and the sounds of retching fills the bathroom. Jaejoong frowns in disgust. Yunho catches his eye and stares at him intently.

The sounds of sickness subside and the toilet flushes. The body stumbles back out to the bar floor and they're alone again. Neither says anything at first, but eventually, Yunho breaks the silence.

"Black," he says simply.

"What?"

"Your favorite color is black...I think. All your jewelry is black and your favorite stage outfits are black. At least I think they're your favorite; they're the ones you seem most comfortable in.

"I also know that you're protective of the new dancers. When their shifts are over, you never let them leave by themselves. You partner them up or you walk them out on your own. And you also let them dance first, even though the tips are better earlier in the evening. You don't want them having to deal with the patrons once they're drunk.

"I know you don't drink. You could—from what I've noticed all the dancers get free drinks—but you don't. I think it's because you're afraid of losing control of yourself. I think that's also why you won't come with me," Yunho finishes quietly. "And..."

"And?"

"And...I know I'm your favorite."

Jaejoong straightens at that. "What gave you that idea?"

"Don't play games with me, Jaejoong. I'm the only person you let touch you. I'm the only person you let kiss you. When you could be making tips stripping for the rest of the bar, you're with me."

"Maybe I make more money with you?" Jaejoong counters cruelly. "You are a great tipper. And who said you're the only one I kiss and touch?"

Yunho deflates at that. "Why are you doing this? Why are you acting like you hate me?" he pleads.

"Leave me alone, Yunho-sshi." Jaejoong shoves Yunho in order to exit the tiny stall, but the other man envelops him in a hug.

"What did I do, Jaejoong-ah?"

Jaejoong fights Yunho's grip. "Let me go!"

"Just tell me what I did. Please!" Yunho's breath is warm against Jaejoong's neck and the small man shudders involuntarily. He pushes against Yunho's chest, but the other man barely budges.

"Stop it, Yunho-sshi."

"I never would have asked you be with me if I'd have known this is how you would have reacted. I'm sorry, Jaejoong-ah. I'm sorry if I insulted you. I'm sorry if you don't think I'm sincere."

"Yunho-sshi,—"

Yunho doesn't stop. His words come out in a rush driven by his emotions. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to let you know. I just thought there was a chance. If there isn't, I'm sorry for asking. Just please, don't hate me."

Jaejoong sighs deeply and lets the other man hold on to him as he struggles to control his breathing. "Yunho-yah?" he tries cautiously.

"Please?"

"I'm sorry, Yunho-yah," the dancer whispers. "I don't want to hurt you. I just can't love you."

A/N: ...I'm so melodramatic. Sorry, no happy ending yet. Angst is much more fun to write. We're almost there, tho. Yunho's proven himself a bit, don't you think?

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