Essay: "Survivor: Keeping the Faith in A Post-Lawsuit World, (OT5)" Part 1/2, TVXQ/DBSK/Tohoshinki

[elles_letters]

Rating: G
Summary: Love is not as easily broken as a certain entertainment company would like you to believe and brotherhood is not so fragile that it snaps when stretched across long distances. An abbreviated guide to the TVXQ lawsuit and why keeping the faith is more than just a saying.
Warning: HOLY MOTHER OF SIWON, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS IS SO LONG. Unsolicited opinions regarding the TVXQ lawsuit. Once again, snark equals love. I forever have faith in OT5. Written as if you're still innocent to this whole JYJ vs. HoMin thing. Full o' pictures, gifs and video links, so not dial-up friendly.
Disclaimer: Jaejoong and Yunho belong to each other. All other rights belong to S.M. Entertainment, Avex, C-JeS and Time Warner Entertainment. I claim no ownership of pictures, gifs or edits unless otherwise stated.

part i (ot5) | part ii (yunjae)

Introduction: A Fairy Tale Story

Once upon a time in a far away land,
there lived five gods who were known simply as
Dong Bang Shin Ki

The five gods were much beloved in their kingdom and throughout the world. For you see, the five gods were uniquely talented. They could sing,

they could dance,

and they could look really good while doing ridiculous poses.

The five gods included the strong and diligent leader, U-Know Yunho,

the caring and talented Hero Jaejoong,

the worldly and romantic Micky Yoochun,

the angelic and phenomenal Xiah Junsu,

and the witty and cunning Max Changmin.

The gods were much admired for their craft. Wherever they performed, they were well-received by their followers and showered with accolades. The five gods stood united, loved by the world and by each other.

But one day, a dark force drew over the gods. A force that created chaos from order and confusion from certainty. A force by the name of "The South Korean Judicial System."

The System, in conjunction with the gods' master, the maniacal S.M. Entertainment, caused a rift among the gods. A rift that forced them to split from each other and cast doubt onto the world as to whether they'd ever reunite.

But, unbeknownst to either foe, there existed a bond between two of the gods, Yunho and Jaejoong. A bond so strong that it survived hate, jealousy and greed. A bond that, if allowed, could ease the gods' pain, reunite them and bring them to a whole new world of achievement.

Why did the forces that be break up the five beloved gods? Would the they survive the spilt? And would our dear Yunho and Jaejoong's bond survive the distance? These are hard questions with no easy answers.

A Hellish Suit: The Rise and Disintegration of K-Pop's Gods

Introduction

Okay, enough of that. When we last left our boys, they were Five. A strong, united group of five lead by their oh-so-obviously-in-love hyungs Jaejoong and Yunho.

These dorks were made for each other.

There was nothing they couldn't do: dominate the Korean idol music scene, win over the hearts of Japan, vacation in Saipan.

YunJae is extremely portable and keeps well in warm temperatures!

But then, at the height of their popularity, the nightmare began. In early 2009, TVXQ went on hiatus in response to a lawsuit brought against their managing company, S.M. Entertainment, on behalf of three of the members, Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu.

Eventually, the three withdrew from the company, signed with a new agency and began performing under the name JYJ. In what resembled more of a divorce than a band split, our favorite OTP were pitted against each other. Yunho got to keep the house and the kid, while Jaejoong got to keep the friends and the pets.

And the car. Can't forget that beautiful car.

And just as the group split, so did the fandom. Some fans decided to go with the three, while others decided to remain with the two. And many more fans, united together under the rallying cry of "Always Keep the Faith," decided to wait and hope for the day the five would come back together.

Neither group escaped criticism. Some fans, as well as current S.M. idols, have criticized Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun for abandoning the company. Some are criticizing Yunho for not being able to stop them from leaving. (Being leader of a Korean boy band comes with certain privileges and responsibilities; however, being the guardian for three grown men is not one of them.)

And let's face it: Yunho was never able to control his members.

And somehow, during all this, YunJae has remained as strong as ever. Despite the split, despite the distance, despite the blaming, the bond between our two favorite Dong Bangers still exists. It's gotten a bit battered and it's in need of some much needed attention, but I believe it's still there.

Nevertheless, before we can discuss how YunJae has changed in this post-lawsuit world, we have to discuss the lawsuit.

The Teams: Who They Are, What They've Done & What They Had to Overcome

As bad as the group's split has been, the split in the fandom has been even more painful. There are some in the fandom who've been taken sides in this whole debacle: JYJ vs. HoMin. Doing that overlooks two very important facts. First, in the very beginning of the controversy, all five members were considering leaving S.M. Entertainment. Second, JYJ's issue has never been with HoMin, but with S.M. In the game of "Who broke up TVXQ?" there's really only one place to lay the blame. (Hint: It's not with any of our boys.)

S.M. Entertainment

In their complaint against S.M. Entertainment, JYJ argued that their contract with the company to overly restrictive and they sought to have them terminated. They are not the first idols to make this claim.

Just so I let everybody know, I am not one of those who thinks that S.M. is storming around the Korean countryside looking for attractive young teens to feed to its massive money-making machine. I do however think that they are the most responsible for what has happened to TVXQ. If we have to blame someone, S.M. should be it. They are the managing company. They have the greatest amount of influence over TVXQ, its members and its promotions. Allow me to sidetrack for a moment and introduce you to another popular k-pop group, Big Bang.

Big Bang is basically a younger, more gangsta version of TVXQ. (Well, as gangsta
as a smiling group of skinny-jean wearing teens can get.)

Big Bang is a Korean R&B/hip-hop group that shares many similarities with TVXQ. Both groups have five members. Both groups are insanely popular and enjoy a large, diverse fanbase. Both groups worked hard to build a reputation and release albums in Japan. And both groups were cursed with some funky looking hair early on in their career.

TVXQ had it a tad worse, though.

Big Bang is managed by one of Korea's other big entertainment companies, YG Entertainment. One of the company's stated policies is allowing members to pursue solo activities and retain the monies gained from said activities. Band member T.O.P. and G-Dragon released a collaborative album that topped the Korean charts. Member Taeyang released a solo R&B album that became a number one seller on the U.S. iTunes R&B charts. Seungri and Daesung ... did some stuff, too. All of the members retained control over their individual projects and were allowed the majority of the income that came along with it (although, I'm certain YG got a slice of the pie as well).

Want to get mad? Let's play "Pretend." Let's pretend for a moment that S.M. operated more like YG. Let's pretend that when TVXQ debuted in Japan, they didn't have to work so hard to make it big. Let's pretend, that like Big Bang, when TVXQ went to Japan, they received more support in their promotional efforts and in their efforts to learn the language and culture. Let's pretend that their schedules did not involve going back and forth between Korea and Japan multiple times a week.

... How are they not dead?

Let's pretend that, later when the members approached management with desires for more control over their music or more income to compensate for their increased responsibilities and seniority, S.M. made concessions that allowed them to do so without having to leave the company. Let's pretend that S.M. allowed the members to temporarily split up and do their own thing. JYJ could have gone on and produced the music they wanted. Junsu, Yoochun and Changmin could have pursued their acting careers. Yunho could have participated in the This Is It concert tour, confident that his own band was still strong under his leadership. And S.M. would have made money on all of these ventures, rather than wasting money fighting a painful lawsuit.

Then, let's pretend that after two years of individual work, the members made their much awaited comeback. And if the industry thought Big Bang's comeback was huge, just imagine how amazing TVXQ's return would have been. They would have dominated the music shows. Companies would be delaying the debut of their rookie groups, not wanting to compete with the power of the Five Rising Gods of the East. All five members would have been happy, fulfilled and confident in the support of their company, their band members and their fans. This is how it could have been.

(...Are you crying yet? I'm sorry. Here's a gif of TVXQ dancing in their Balloons costumes.)

S.M. had the power to cooperate with the boys, but they choose not to. There are some fans calling out JYJ (as well as other idols who have sued the company) for leaving while so many other idols stay. Forgive my bluntness, but who the hell cares why the others stay? Maybe they have more resilient personalities. Maybe they feel more supported by S.M. and their management. Maybe S.M. never made them live and work in Japan for two years. Maybe they're not Chinese and therefore not trying to make it in a completely different culture thousands of miles away from home and family. (Oops! Sorry. I think my hurt over broken HanChul slipped in.)

The point is, idols staying with the company isn't the problem; idols leaving is. JYJ didn't just wake up one morning and decide to just ditch their bandmates, their label and their thousands of fans to become k-pop outsiders. A set of circumstances had to exist in order for them to feel that they had no other choice. What S.M. needs to do is figure out what those circumstances are and what they can do to help their idols feel more supported. And if I may make a suggestion, getting rid of that unnecessary and outdated company model would be a great start.

In their complaint against S.M., JYJ stated that the company was taking 70 to 90 percent of their profits. One of the reasons S.M. had to take so much of TVXQ's money is that, thanks to S.M.'s company model, TVXQ were not only supporting themselves, but every other idol and trainee in the company. Here's how S.M. works: First they hold casting calls and auditions to gain new talent. Potential trainees can audition as dancers, singers, MCs/personalities or composers/producers. Selected talent become trainees. Trainees are completely devoted to becoming a future idol. To help them prepare for this, S.M. provides trainees with housing; diet and fitness plans; music, singing, dancing and language lessons; and access to stylists and fashionable wardrobes as part of their image. When a trainee debuts, the understanding is that their profits as an idol will go toward repaying S.M. for their initial investment.

But what if a trainee debuts and flops? S.M.'s already spent that money. They got to get it back somehow. In the end, the successful idols have to help S.M. pay, not only for their own debuts, but for the debuts of those who may not have made it big.

As far as I can tell, Korea is the only market that operates this way. That's understandable, as it seems to waste money. Wouldn't it be easier to simply find the talent that already exists and polish it up for consumption? Companies could save money on training and image creating by taking advantage of the artists natural talents and personalities. The South Korean idol industry needs to allow their artists to create for themselves and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

JYJ

As mentioned previously, JYJ is the name of the group created by TVXQ members Jaejoong, Yoochun and Junsu. Jaejoong, deprived of his Yunho, has taken to forever cockblocking YooSu. Changmin would be proud.

Boss Jae gives no fucks.

Since leaving S.M. Entertainment, JYJ have released three albums, held two "world" tours (quick geography lesson: the world consists of more than Asia and North America), acted in dramas and musicals, modeled in numerous ad campaigns and made their feline-loving mark on the Twitterverse.

I don't know what I was expecting from JYJ on Twitter, but I can honestly say it wasn't cats.

JYJ is currently signed with C-JeS, a management company in Korea that seems to allow JYJ the freedoms S.M. wouldn't. Early on in the suit, S.M. claimed that C-JeS was less than credible and had connections with the Korean mafia.

They have not been able to prove those allegations true, however, and as part of their efforts to become international artists, JYJ has also signed with Time Warner Entertainment. S.M. tried to file an injunction against the move and prevent the release of JYJ's international album, The Beginning, however a court found in favor of JYJ.

…Blah, blah legal stuff. Let's move on.

Here's a short selection of music produced by JYJ since leaving S.M.:

W || Slow balled dedicated to HoMin. "Keep in mind that I love you." Yep, that sounds like the work of money-grubbing scumbags to me.
Empty || The best single from their international album. The boys promised us a music video, but sadly, we're still waiting.
Be My Girl || Yunho appreciates this ringtone. I appreciate that he appreciates it.
Still in Love || Jae's single track from The Beginning. Three guesses as to who he was singing it to.
Nine || LISTEN TO THIS! For the love of Jaesus, if you only click one of these links, make it this one. There will be a quiz on it later.
이름 없는 노래, Part 1 (A Song Without A Name) || Maybe JYJ aren't greedy and disloyal. Maybe they were just overworked and underpaid.

Now, I have to confess something: I'm old. There are times when hanging around this fandom makes me feel like a dinosaur. And not talking about a cool dinosaur, like those velociraptors in Jurassic Park. More like a stegosaurus.

I propose that velociraptors become the official mascot of all cool YunJae shippers.
(Yes, I made this gif. No, I'm not at all proud of that.)

Okay…so I'm not that old, but I'm definitely in the upper range of the average TVXQ fangirl. A big chunk of TVXQ's fandom is still in school, while I've already graduated and entered the work force. That's given me a different perspective on this whole lawsuit thing. JYJ's stated reason for bringing the lawsuit against S.M. was that they believed their original contracts were overly restrictive. Since then, these three have faced waves of criticism. They've been called greedy, selfish, disloyal, treacherous, backstabbing and attention-seeking. They've been called this by fans and their former label mates.

Let's all just let the irony of their S.M. mates calling them "backstabbing" sink it.

Here's something life has kicked me in the face and taught me: Sometimes things don't work out the way you plan. I know, I know. That's so cliche and condescending and full of platitude, but it's true. I'm dealing with it right now. I have no damn idea what to do with my life. Fifteen-plus years of schooling and I got nothing. The plans I made a year, five years, ten years ago, haven't really been working for me.

And I'm no where near as good looking talented as TVXQ.

Now let's take our boys. Here's a picture of the five teens who entered S.M. as trainees.

Here's a picture of the three men who wanted out.

Look at these pictures. Look at the differences. There are much bigger differences than increased height and improved hair. I've taught kids the same age TVXQ were when they signed with S.M., and I can confidently say that teenage boys are not a population good with long-term decisions. (Some of them aren't even that good with short-term decisions.) The idea that people are angry with JYJ for wanting to escape a 13-year (15-year contract when their mandatory military service is factored in) contract they signed in their early teens is laughable to me.

I can't find it in my heart to resent the boys for leaving S.M. In my eyes, they've done nothing to deserve the amount of contempt they've received. Granted, they have made a few mistakes since leaving S.M. (Junsu's tweet, trusting Avex, working with Kanye West), but that's to be expected by guys who have never worked without the experienced hand of a large entertainment company.

Okay, so let's get what everyone is rumbles about: The money. This is important, so I'm going to type it twice: There is nothing greedy or selfish about wanting to be properly compensated for one's work. Again, there is NOTHING greedy or selfish about wanting to be properly compensated for one's work. (That's bold, capitalized and italicized; I mean that shit.)

Economists, smart intellectual people who study this kind of thing for a living, have determined that the best way to motivate employees is to provide fair compensation (notice I didn't say high compensation. Just fair). Provide them enough money so that they don't have to worry about money. When you get right down to it, the lawsuit is just a work place dispute. TVXQ was and continues to be the biggest generator of revenue for S.M., yet, as far as I've read, they did not receive compensation that reflected this esteemed status.

If you ask me, I don't even think the split was about money. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure money's a big part of it. But looking at JYJ's actions since the split, it's become clear that this is a matter of power. If you watch the rest of that linked video, you'll see it goes on to say that the three biggest motivators and suppliers of personal satisfaction are autonomy, mastery and purpose. I truly think JYJ just got tired of the idol schtick. It was okay when they were first starting out and in their teens, but they're in their mid-20s now. I think they realized the future of an idol was limited and desired to be taken as serious artists.

I swear, they're being super serious here!

From the beginning of JYJ's formation, all three members have played big roles in the creation and production of their music. They composed their own music, wrote their own lyrics and directed their own concerts. The music they've produced differs from the dance and pop music they produced with TVXQ. There are no "eras," there are no costumes and there are few highly choreographed dance moves. Their money worries are gone and S.M. is no longer interfering in the creative aspect. The boys can simply focus on the music. This is what they wanted.

One area they have not been able to gain control of, however, are their promotions. S.M. has used their powerful sway in the industry to repeatedly cockblock JYJ and prevent them from appearing on the big music shows. S.M. even somehow got a cable reality show featuring the guys knocked off the air before it even premiered. As a result, every now and then, there are moments when the JYJ boys seem to be defeated by the limits placed on them. They never say they regret leaving, but when I see images such as this

and this

I can only wonder what's going through their minds.

Despite these setbacks, I think JYJ are happier away from S.M. They have freedom their former label mates may never experience. They get to decide when and where they are going to perform (no more crazy Japanese promotion schedules!). They get to control the money they earn. They get to grind up on back-up dancers!

HoMin

As hard as things have been for JYJ, I worry about HoMin more, especially Yunho. While JYJ have the freedom to talk to the press about the lawsuit and tweet to fans, HoMin still have to think of their management company. I have a feeling that everything they say regarding the lawsuit or JYJ is perfectly scripted according S.M.'s well-run PR department.

For me, HoMin's actions have been more painful to watch than JYJ's. First, they had to spend two years waiting for their group mates to return. Granted they stayed active during these two years, with concert tours and dramas, but they didn't get to participate in the kind of music activities they've built their career on.

When they realized that JYJ weren't coming back, it must have been devastating. And, when they did return to the music scene, HoMin had to try and rebuild the name TVXQ with only two members. They had to do this while some people went around saying it would be impossible with so many of the group's main vocalists gone.

LOL! Bitches thought we were through.

For the most part, HoMin's comeback lived up to their godly image. Yunho brought back the kick-ass dance moves TVXQ were known for. Changmin started screaming again. Leader and maknae faced the audiences of Music Bank and Inkegiyo as the new TVXQ*, and except for three missing people, everything went off without a hitch.

Except for those suits. God, how I wanted to burn those suits.

HoMin haven't been as involved in album production as JYJ have. Perhaps this is because album production is the only thing JYJ can do at this point. While JYJ's already released three albums and EPs, HoMin have only released one LP album, along with a repackaged album. A new Japanese-language album is expected to be released in September, though. Here are a few selections from their comeback album, 왜(Keep Your Head Down):

Maximum || Why this wasn't their comeback single, I'll never know.
왜 (Keep Your Head Down) || The album's title track and their comeback single. You don't want to hear my thoughts on this song. Because they are perverted.
Honey Funny Bunny || Yunho's solo. Unlike some fans, I actually find the title endearing.
She || More people need to like this song. I feel all alone spazzing over it.
Before U Go || The regular music video for this song was epic! But, I've linked the dance version because it has something the original does not: Yunho wearing black silk.

Yunho and Changmin have had to continue to carry on TVXQ's legacy, including the parts from before the split. Watch this performance of "Balloons" and tell me there aren't moments when Yunho's expression breaks your heart.

Who thought this would be a good idea? I don't find it nostalgic or fun; it's just a twist of the knife.

HoMin's transition hasn't been without its bumps, either. Both Yunho and Changmin have made comments regarding the other three that imply JYJ left for selfish or immoral reasons. Changmin even made that strange goose metaphor. Their comments riled up the fandom and the two had to back track and clarify their statements.

Guys, I have to admit this: I'm delusional for Yunho. He's the first member I knew and the first member I loved. In my eyes, he can do no wrong. That being said, I don't buy it when HoMin says these anti-JYJ comments.

Do I think Yunho and Changmin were hurt by JYJ's actions? Yes. Do they have a reason to be angry? Yes. But I just find it hard to believe that the man who once forgave a girl for deliberately and maliciously poisoning him would believe such things about his former group mates. For me, whenever HoMin talk about JYJ, their answers always sound scripted and just a bit too rehearsed.

So, JYJ never tried contacting HoMin? My, that's exactly what Leeteuk said regarding Han Geng. (Damn you, HanChul! This is not your essay!)

Yunho has repeatedly stated that his first concern is protecting TVXQ. Some blogs I've visited have viewed this declaration as selfishness. Why protect the group's name and image over the other three members? But that doesn't fit the Yunho I know. I think Yunho just wants to make sure there's a TVXQ to return to. As he said in his own words, "It was an inevitable choice we had to make to secure TVXQ’s authenticity. It’s TVXQ Act II now, and Act III will begin when the three members resolve the problems with our management company and come back (SM Entertainment).” (The emphasis is mine.)

The group is safe. Now go get your boys, Jung!

Yunho still hopes that the other three will return. He may not believe that it will actually happen, but that's the outcome he wants for this whole mess. And he want to make sure that if they do decide to come back (which I don't think will happen), TVXQ will still be relevant and recognized as a top idol group.

And let's face facts: We could not expect HoMin to go forth and not have to answer questions regarding the split. HoMin are the party that's awkwardly stuck in the middle between two feuding friends (except one of those friends pays for their home, food, transportation and pretty much provides for them in every way). This means there will be moments when they'll take up for S.M. I hate it, but I understand it.

What's more, I'm sure to Yunho and Changmin, S.M. is not the faceless, evil company we picture it to be. To them, S.M. is the stylist noonas who come up with their new concepts, the choreographers who teach them new dance moves, the trainees who aspire to be like them and the seniors they aspire to be like. And no matter what goes on in the boardroom of S.M. Entertainment, I'm certain the support staff—the men and women who make sure our favorite artists are well taken care of—have the best interests of our boys in mind.

(*Short unrelated note: I'm going to be honest and admit I am one of those people who desperately wished that HoMin wouldn't continue under the name TVXQ. I know that S.M. created the group and name and, as a result, can use it wherever they damn well please. I also know that HoMin have every right to continue as TVXQ; they are the ones who remained. Still, for me, TVXQ is five: Jaejoong, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin. It was the five of them that built up the legacy of TVXQ and the five of them who, for five years, were the face of TVXQ. It hurts my heart whenever I click on a link with TVXQ in the name and see only two people. Can we refer to them as Yunho and Changmin of TVXQ? It hurts a little less.)

In my opinion, Yunho and Changmin have done a pretty decent job of picking up the pieces of TVXQ and moving forward. We can't expect them to wait forever for the issue to be resolved and they deserve to continue making music, too. It takes a lot of strength to keep going after such a painful parting. It takes a lot of strength to do so and not use your position of privilege to rail against those who hurt you. (Hear that, Beyoncé?) And Yunho, my favorite Leader-sshi, has done me proud.

Admittedly deluded, guys, and I regret nothing.

Analysis: The Only Possible Outcome

The split sucked. You'll never get me to say otherwise. More than anything, I want for all five to be together as one group. However, the split was the fairest outcome for each individual member. Those who wanted to stay with S.M. stayed and those who wanted to go, went.

For us, TVXQ is an escape. It's five handsome men who can sing and dance and take us to a happy place filled with good beats, red balloons and Jaejoong with blond hair. For the members, TVXQ is a job. They've had to work hard to get where they are today. Singing lessons, dance rehearsals, live performances, concerts and commercials. They've had to do all of that despite illnesses, injuries, homesickness, holidays and birthdays. TVXQ wasn't their escape from life. It was their life. And nobody—not the fans, not S.M. and most certainly not a piece of paper signed by boys too young to fully understand its implications—has the right to tell them what to do with their lives.

One of the biggest problems I see among the fandom is that we are focusing more on the whole of the group rather than each individual (and handsome) parts. In other words, there is more emphasis on TVXQ surviving with five members than on the individual health and happiness of Jaejoong, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin. There's this anger over whose actions caused the most damage to TVXQ, but very little discussion over the member's individual wants. We cannot treat all five members as one unit. Each man in the group has his own wants and values shaped by his own life experiences.

For example, Yunho comes from a fairly traditional background. He values the opinion of his parents and elders greatly. To add to that, he's also experienced a life of financial instability. As I mentioned in the last essay, Yunho has been homeless before to a point where he was sleeping in train stations. As a result, he's frugal and handles his money conservatively. Analyzing all of that, it's no wonder Yunho stayed with S.M. First of all, his father has expressed his opinion that for Yunho to leave S.M. would be ungrateful considering all the company has done for him. (I could not possibly disagree with that more than I do!) Secondly, for a boy concerned about financial stability, which option seems less risky: trying to make it big on his own or staying with the music-making beast that is S.M.?

You're such a well-behaved man, Yunho. You should try being bad. Sometimes, it's worth it.

Jaejoong, on the other hand, comes from a completely different place. Jaejoong's past is rather nontraditional for Korea. His parents divorced when he was a baby. His mother was placed under serious financial strain that resulted in Jae having to go to a foster home. Jaejoong was later adopted into a family that consisted of eight older sisters. After making it big with TVXQ, Jaejoong got involved in a custody battle between his adoptive parents and his biological father.

Can you imagine the effect being adopted into a family of ten would have on a child? It's present in his personality. He's attentive to people's needs and is well-known for his charisma. His parents have revealed themselves as being rather progressive. Jaejoong got to grow up in a world where he could take risks and speak his mind (I'm sure he got some privileges being the only son in a family of daughters).

He seems also to not be bound by the same societal norms that kept Yunho with S.M. That is evidenced by all the tattoos that cover his body. In Korea, tattoos are associated with prison/gang life. I'm pretty sure that Jae has never done time, yet he keeps getting inked anyway. It's also evidenced by the fact that he has a hard time keeping his mouth shut. As part of TVXQ, whenever the group appeared on variety shows, Jaejoong was known for his blunt honesty. Yes, he wants to be popular among the fans. Yes, he drank before he reached the legal drinking age in Korea. Yes, he knows he's ridiculously, ridiculously good-looking. And yes, he has absolutely no problem telling you that.

There is one man Jaejoong has publicly declared his love for and his name would be Kim Jaejoong.

The true motivations and reasons for each members' decision are deeply personal. Is Changmin staying for his father or for Yunho? Was Yoochun at all influenced by a childhood spent in a country based on individualism, capitalism and control of one's own destiny? Did Junsu just get tired of the angel bit?

You know, that explains so much.

I want all five back together; however, I only want them back together if that's what makes them happy. I don't want JYJ returning to a company they don't feel treats them right. I don't want HoMin bullied or judged into making a move they're not comfortable with. TVXQ should not stay together because we want it to; it has to be together because they want it to.

Conclusion: My Boys, My OT5, My Faith

I don't consider myself a naive fangirl. I try not to go around parroting "Always Keep the Faith." But I do believe this: TVXQ will be back together. Korea is not that big a place; the Korean entertainment industry is even smaller. As far as I know, all five guys still live in Seoul, one of the most interactive cities in the world. They are all still young and I'm pretty sure Yunho and Changmin won't be idols forever. And the networks will eventually tire of S.M. and JYJ's power struggle. The five of them still care about each other. JYJ have said as much and Leader-sshi said the first thing he'd do if he saw them again was scold them (that's the leader in him) then hug them (that's the brother in him).

So, while it may not be next year, it may not be on the stage of Music Bank or in the Tokyo Dome and it more than likely will not be with S.M., TVXQ will be together again. I truly believe that.

And push come to shove, we'll always have Japan.

I may be alone when I say this, but I don't think I would care for the boys as deeply as I do now if they hadn't had to deal with the split. Blasphemy, yes, but dealing with these issues, watching as they've all struggled to make their way through this mess has made me feel closer to all of them. I don't give other idol groups even a tenth of the love and respect I have for these guys. In fact, I've actually lost some respect for a few of them. (coughShinDongcough. I kid, I kid! Actually, I never had much respect for ShinDong.) Their hurt, their anger, their confusion and their sadness has made them more accessible. More human. 

They may not be gods anymore, but that's okay.

Our boys are men now and they've all decided to choose make their own way in the world. And part of me can't help but wonder if people are hurt because of the split or because of what the split may represent (the end of their own childhood).

For what it's worth, these last few years haven't been completely terrible. All five will learn and grow from this. They'll come back as a stronger, more experienced artists. And there have been, at least for me, a few good things to come out of this mess.

1. The split forced me to learn more about the other members of the group. Before, most of my attention was focused on Yunho and Jaejoong. I won't say YunJae was the main reason for it (as I said, my first TVXQ love was Yunho; Jaejoong sort of came along as a package deal), but it certainly played a big role. When the group split and HoMin went on hiatus, Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun were the ones who kept my attention. And while the majority of my thoughts were along the lines of "I want my Dong Bang Shin Ki back!" and "Who'll raise Changmin?," I also couldn't help but wonder, "Junsu, why you so cute?"

And hot!? Cute and hot!

2. JYJ in English. Talking in English. Singing in English. Tweeting in English. My god, their voices sound even more amazing when I can understand what they're saying.

3. Being one of only two group members has done wonders for Yunho's vocal abilities. I never thought Yunho was a horribly bad singer, however, I do think he often got overshadowed by Junsu and Jaejoong. I think taking on more of the vocals has given him more strength as a singer.

4. In that same vein, is it me or has Yoochun's hair gotten less ridiculous.

Reasonable length, sensible bangs and one uniform color. Beautiful, Chunnie. Your hair is beautiful

5. Since Jaejoong's departure from S.M. Entertainment and their image-maintaining policies, I have become even more convinced that YunJae is real.

Home-made Microsoft Excel charts make everything more legit

And now, to the YunJae (Part II)